Albert Ellis Quotes

The late Dr Albert Ellis

I get people to truly accept themselves unconditionally,

whether or not their therapist or anyone loves them.

There's no evidence whatsoever that

men are more rational than women.

Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.

If something is irrational, 
that means it won't work.

It's usually unrealistic.

There are three musts that hold us back:

I must do well.

You must treat me well.

And the world must be easy.

We teach people that they upset themselves.

We can't change the past,

so we change how people are
thinking, feeling and behaving today.

You largely constructed your depression.

It wasn't given to you.

Therefore, you can deconstruct it.

I wish that the Adversity had not occurred and
I don't like it but I can live with it.

Let me do my best to change the unfortunate condition or

accept it and live with it if I truly find that I can't change it.

Whining about how awful it is will only make it
seem worse than bad and make me feel more miserable!

Why should I live up to any other individual's standards?

Unconditional self-acceptance is the basic antidote
to much of your depressed self-downing feelings.

The goals of psychotherapy are twofold:

to help clients disturb themselves less emotionally and

to enable them to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

Unless they achieve the first of these goals,
attaining the second one is,

while not impossible, damned difficult!

If people want to change their Irrational Bs,
which lead to self-defeating Consequences,

to Rational Bs, which lead to self-helping Consequences,

they had better work on
their Believing-Emoting-Behaving and
not merely on their Believing.

More specifically, they had better vigorously and forcefully
(that is, emotively) change their dysfunctional Bs;
and at the same time,
they forcefully and persistently feel and act against them.

There is no magic, no free lunch.

Self-change, while almost always possible,
requires persistent work and practice.

Try to create a vital meaning and absorbing interest in your
life that you adapt from others or mainly construct yourself.

Dedicate yourself, but not rigidly,
to developing and following your meaning.

Have acceptance that your present path is not likely to work,

acceptance that hassles will still exist,

acceptance that you had better try a different path,

and acceptance that the new path (or any new paths)
may still not work.

Frankly, the universe doesn't give a hoot for your desires,
and has no personal interest in you. 

Disputing your self-defeating,
irrational beliefs is one of the
main and most helpful methods of REBT.

If one thinks that failing makes one a complete failure,

this is an illogical jump,

because a complete failure would have to fail at
everything and one surely does not do that.

A complete failure would also be doomed to
fail in the future which cannot be proven.